Peace

Molly had a low fever and a horrible cough last night. She was having trouble sleeping so Utah Dad rescued her from her crib and she snuggled against my chest--content and not coughing--for a few hours while I read. I was heartbroken that Molly didn't feel well but I enjoyed every moment of cuddling with my darling little girl. The cuddling moments are becoming fewer and farther between as my baby gets older and older. Generally, she's too wiggly, busy and independent to cuddle and it seems like she just wants to be on my lap when Lilly is already snuggling there (battles ensue).

Molly will be two years old this week.

It is breaking my heart for my little baby to grow up, even as I enjoy each moment of her discovery and growth. The second year of a baby's life is one of my favorites. They're just so cute and funny and delightful. They generally don't sass yet and the tantrums aren't as frequent.

I've been pregnant during each one of my other kids' second year and I usually have a two or three month old baby by the time the older sibling celebrates his/her second birthday. I have to admit that I have really enjoyed not being pregnant this last year. It's been nice to have more energy to play with my little ones. And as Molly nears her birthday, it only increases our understanding and contentment that she is, as far as we are able to determine, our last child. (Utah Dad was the surprise after the surprise--my greatest fear, I'll admit.)

I watched my friend and neighbor's baby for a few hours last week. He is such an adorable little guy with a quick smile and giggle. I cooked dinner with one hand and then ate my food with a baby on my lap. I smiled at the comfortable way he fit against my hip (thankfully only Neal weighed as much as this little guy). My children enjoyed playing with him and making him smile. Even Neal took a turn holding the baby.

As much as we took pleasure from our few hours with the baby, I have to admit that it was nice to hand him back to his mother that evening. I've heard other moms talk about this point they reach when they're just glad they get to hold and cuddle the baby and then give him/her back to his rightful parent. It feels a little funny but mostly comfortable to actually be there.

And Molly will always be my baby.