Thursday, March 24, 2011

Harassment Sensitivity Training

Utah Dad's employers have been harassing him about the sensitivity training he needed to take--again. He had to finish it by today. This afternoon he read various work place situations to me. He had to determine whether or not the qualified as "harassment".

Listening to him, I realized that I need to get in touch with the Human Resources Director at my work place (oh yeah, it's me) and organize some sensitivity and harassment training for my minions. I think you might agree that there is some harassment going on in my work place.

Case Study #1:
10:56 am Wednesday
Mom is paying bills (and checking Twitter) on the computer.

Lilly: (climbing onto Mom's lap) I want to play Nick Jr. Can I play Nick Jr.?
Molly: (pulling on Mom's pant leg) Cup.Cup. More milk.
Thomas: (in the bathroom) MOMMY, WIPE MY BUTT!
Mom: Thomas, I'm coming.
Lilly: Mom! Molly touched the button and turned off the computer!

Case Study #2:
2:35 pm Thursday
Mom is in the kitchen peeling hard boiled eggs to put in the potato salad to go with the bratwurst for dinner at her brother's house where they will all watch the basketball game (which will turn out to be sad, but she doesn't know that yet).

Lilly (in the family room): Turn on Backyardigans!
Amberly: Can I go play with Sarah?
Mom: Is your homework finished?
Neal: (calling from upstairs) Can I play on the computer?
Mom: Is your homework finished? I haven't heard the piano yet.
Lilly: Turn on Backyardigans!
Amberly (whining): My homework is too hard. I need a calculator.
Lilly (whining loudly): Mommy! Turn on Backyardigans!
Thomas: Can we take the chairs in the family room and make a blanket tent?
Mom: No tents today.
Amberly: My homework is too hard.
Mom: I'll come help you when I've finished peeling eggs.
Amberly: (crumples into a ball on the floor and cries) That will take for-ev-er. I want to play with Sarah NOW!

Case Study #3:
5:14 p.m. Tuesday
Mom is in the kitchen preparing chicken fajitas for dinner.

Thomas: I'm hungry. Can I have some Ritz crackers and peanut butter?
Mom: I know you're hungry. That is why I am making dinner.
Neal: What's for dinner?
Mom: Chicken fajitas.
Neal: It looks gross.
Amberly: I hate chicken fajitas. Why do you always have to make stuff I hate? You always make stuff I hate. It's too spicy and it burns my lips.
Molly: (pushing a chair over to the counter to "help" Mom) Bread. Bread.
Thomas: Mom! Get me those Ritz crackers and peanut butter. I'm still waiting.

Case Study #4:
7:15 a.m. Thursday morning
Amberly is out of bed but has curled into a ball on the couch in the loft. She's still wearing her pajamas.

Mom: Amberly get dressed. Here are some clothes.
Amberly: (kicks the clothes on to the floor) I hate those pants.
Mom: Which pants would your prefer? I'll go get them.
Amberly: My tummy hurts. I don't want to go to school.
Mom: It's your presentation today. You have to go to school. And we have to comb your hair today.
Amberly: Don't yank on my hair. I want to wear it down. Not in a stupid pony tail! I hate pony tails!

I think I definitely have some complaints to file with the HR department. Perhaps Utah Dad can share all the knowledge he gleaned from his recent training at our next Family Home Evening.


Catey said...

hahahaha! LOVE this. :) And honestly I have to say that it is SO refreshing to hear things like this from you.....your kids always seem so unbelievably patient and polite. Glad you know they just put up a good front. :P

Kerri said...


Tristi Pinkston said...

Oh, I hear ya. Isn't it great to know we're not alone in our distress? :) My favorite expression about motherhood: "Motherhood is like being pecked to death by a duck." Good thing they're all such cute little ducks ...

Michelle Anderson said...

I just happened upon your blog (I did a search on how to feel the spirit during activity days activities and it directed me here). Anyway, these cases sound like a typical day at my house...I mean right down to the Ritz crackers and mouth burning fajitas :-)! Funny